7.04.2006

Everything I Know I Learned from Cats


Bored now.

I grew up an only child with two working parents. This leads me to theorize that I was raised largely by cats, since they were my primary caregivers in my parents' absence. Their feline parenting may well explain many, if not most, of my human neuroses.
I, like cats, have have two speeds: OFF (left) and ON (right).

Such neuroses include, but are not limited to: resistance to change, preoccupation with self, expectation of food and attention upon demand, the need for reassurance of love with affection (this affection may or may not be returned), suspicion of new people and situations, a quickness to judge, anxiety disorder, proneness to displays of haughty self-righteousness, fondness for frequent naps, neediness with a paradoxical independent streak, a short attention span, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
OFF.

Cats have also taught me the following:

1. The only two words you really need to know are "Me" and "Now."
2. Always wait at least 15 seconds before responding.
3. When responding, do so as if it's an inconvenience.
4. Keep your priorities in order: Food, Sleep, and Food.
5. If you can't eat it, sleep on it, or play with it, it's not worth getting excited about.
6. You don't have to pout for long--just long enough to make your point.
7. Never let them forget who's really in charge.
8. Every day is Independence Day.



10 comments:

Dee said...

Great post ...you have some very funny kitties. Happy Independence Day!

RheLynn said...

Well, I can see those qualities in the cats, but not in you ;o) Very funny post though -- very lazy (and cute) kitties!

Happy Independence Day ;o)

rosalynn said...

those pix are priceless... and well, yes, we're all like cats in many of the ways you listed. well maybe not ALL of us, but at least i know that i'm that way too (food + sleep = good).

Chris said...

I'm glad I wasn't drinking anything when I read this, or it would've been all over my monitor!!

Um, a personal question - if you were raised by cats, do you have a fondness for loofahs, to mimic bath time?? ;)

Carrie K said...

I love that on/off pic! and the "Bored Now". So true.

Hmmm. I have many of those same qualites but I had a cockapoo growing up. Ah. I'm a Leo. That explains it. I love that list.

RheLynn said...

**giggling at the loofah thing! hehe!**

msfortuknit said...

Theyre more then just cats, theyre YOUR cats! hahaha... how are you hun? How was your yesterday? I hope that everything is going well with you!

Obsidian Kitten said...

I like the scrubby sponge (the round ball one) rather than the loofah--but it's rly the same thing, isn't it? rotfl

Ah, yesterday we all partook of much napping, it was a most loverly day!

Knitted_Painting said...

That post sounds like just about the life motto in this house...with 7 cats! lol your tortoise cat (if that's how you spell it) looks just like our Kessy! ^_^

Mouse said...

Heh.. love the post and the kitty pictures! I'm an only child who was 'raised by cats' as well.. it all makes perfect sense to me.. lol