I grew up an only child with two working parents. This leads me to theorize that I was raised largely by cats, since they were my primary caregivers in my parents' absence. Their feline parenting may well explain many, if not most, of my human neuroses.
Such neuroses include, but are not limited to: resistance to change, preoccupation with self, expectation of food and attention upon demand, the need for reassurance of love with affection (this affection may or may not be returned), suspicion of new people and situations, a quickness to judge, anxiety disorder, proneness to displays of haughty self-righteousness, fondness for frequent naps, neediness with a paradoxical independent streak, a short attention span, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Cats have also taught me the following:
1. The only two words you really need to know are "Me" and "Now."
2. Always wait at least 15 seconds before responding.
3. When responding, do so as if it's an inconvenience.
4. Keep your priorities in order: Food, Sleep, and Food.
5. If you can't eat it, sleep on it, or play with it, it's not worth getting excited about.
6. You don't have to pout for long--just long enough to make your point.
7. Never let them forget who's really in charge.
8. Every day is Independence Day.