2.05.2007

Cats on Tuesday, Pt. 7




The Anatomy of the Feline Unit

The handsomely-crafted feline unit has been perfected by tens of thousands of years of engineering. The following photo essay attempts to touch on merely a few aspects of this incredible piece of technology.

Forward sensory array. Note the whisker-like sensors above the optical system and on either side of the nasal unit. The aural receptors are particularly keen and rotate like satellite dishes.


View of forward sensory array on a different feline model. You may note that feline units come in an extremely wide variety of colors and patterns, suited to many combat environments and almost any terrain or climates.


Quadripedal mobility traction units. These conceal a hyper-sharp self-maintaining weapons array.


Forward weapons array (FWA) in maintenance mode.


Another unit maintaining FWA efficacy.


Demonstration of FWA.


Cleaning of FWA after use. Note the additional concealed weaponry now visible in unit's oral cavity.


As seen above, units are equipped with self-cleaning capacity. Self-cleaning device (SCD) is used frequently, and may also be employed to clean other units, remove flesh from the bones of hapless victims, or the rescue the last bit of tuna from a bowl.


Close-up of SCD.


An enemy approaches.


Unit assumes attack position.


Com unit. Will, for example, swish vigorously to signal a warning. Can triple in size during red alert. Aft portion of feline unit may wriggle just prior to launching attack.


Units are also equipped with highly effective night-vision lenses.


Feline units recharging via solar energy.


However, solar energy is not required for these effective units to recharge during sleep mode.



18 comments:

Chris said...

Ohmigod, this is brilliant! Brilliant!! I'm going to be impaired from so much laughter.

Puss-in-Boots said...

What an imaginative description of a cat. I will never see myself the same again. Thank you so much for that.

Purrs and smooches

Oscar

Gattina said...

Ha,ha,he,he I drop my cup of coffee ! You made it again ! You should publish it in a Cat Fan book, it's so true ! And the pictures going with that, just great !

Mouse said...

I love the "recharging via solar energy" one.. I always wondered why my cat layed in the sun!
Wonderful post!

Jodi said...

What a great way to describ a cat! I love the rechargine one!

Have a great Tuesday!

Anonymous said...

I believe in picture #12 you have a stealth unit sneaking in under the door.

Anonymous said...

ROTFL! This is just too funny!

Anonymous said...

I love all these photos and the clever descriptions that go with them! My husband always comments that he likes cats because they are self-cleaning, so it's funny that you should mention that.

Happy Tuesday!

RheLynn said...

Great post - I agree about the stealth unit ;o) Such cute (and ferocius) feline units all around!

Nana Sadie said...

Priceless! Thank you, this was so imaginative, I will be sharing...
(((hugs)))

sheep#100 said...

Laughing myself silly here.

TorAa said...

Excellent, original and creative post with great photos showing all the features.
One feature,though, are subject to further improvements. The Com unit.
Out cats do not need outside antennas, they have them buildt in, like most Manx do have.

Great post

=^.^=

Meow (aka Connie) said...

What a brilliant post ... you are very clever. Thanks for sharing.
Take care, Meow

FelineFrisky said...

I just adore the GI descriptions!!! Very clever. and truthful!

Wonderful units you have there. Glad they posed for the visuals.

D :)

Andree said...

That was wonderful! Such happy photos. The tongue photo is magnificent, especially close up! Crazy cat eyes on the tree! I love it when my cats feel that nutty! Thank you so much!

Obsidian Kitten said...

thanks, toraa, for pointing out that cats DO have internal com units! special tail-less are known to be particularly extraordinary (not to mention the bobtailed types)--in fact this internal technology is so top secret that i did not mention it here

and of course there are other feline communications systems not covered here--i.e. the vibratory system commonly referred to as P.U.R.R., various vocal systems, a very complex physical language; also a scent system that we human engineers are not sophisticated snough to understand

and yes, in the one photo there is a stealth unit under the door...it has VERY big feet! lolol

Anonymous said...

Just love Cats on Tuesday.
What great pictures!!!!

mrspao said...

Fantastic!!