Mad Snippets From A Deranged Optimist

Okay, this is all Tink's fault. I used the random blog title generator and hence, you may now enjoy some mad snippets from a deranged optimist--which, somehow, seems very fitting, as I do fancy myself something of an optimist, and I am certifiably deranged. I have the papers to prove it.

1. On coffee. If there is no coffee in the house, or we're out of milk, I can't get out of bed. I've been known to substitute vanilla ice cream for milk in a real pinch. It doesn't even matter if it has chunky things like cookie dough or chocolate chips in it. Running out of coffee in our house is considered a DefCon One Coffee Emergency.

Hm, this seems more deranged than optimism. But coffee, when provided in a steady supply, is a marvelous, miraculous life-giving elexir. (No flavours, please.) Is this not the very essence of glass-half full thinking?

2. On cats. They've taught me the only two words one needs to know: me and now. (Other things I've learned from cats may be found here.)

3. On testosterone. Thorn is now officially a wether (or neutered male sheep). When we got him in December, his furry sheepy balls were neatly banded off and I was informed that they would eventually wither away and drop off. I've been watching ever since and was being to grow concerned that, although they were certainly somewhat withered and not infected or anything, they were still definitely attached to him. (Could it be that it was simply too cold to complete the process? What if they just got freeze-dried? One worries about these things on a farm.)

I began to notice last week that he was no longer so fiercely head-butting Tyr over their feed bucket. Then two days ago he actually let me scratch him under the chin and on the chest. This was the first time he'd ever let me touch him; this was very odd indeed.

I carefully crouched down in the hay (these Icelandic sheep are built rather low to the ground) and peeked around behind him. His fuzzy balls were gone indeed! (We just experienced several days of above-freezing temperatures. Was that what had been needed to encourage the completion of the process? We'll never know...)

And lo and behold, as his previous owners had informed us, I did indeed find said organs, now detached from their owner--somewhat dessicated but still quite fascinating--while raking the hay in the boys' stall. (At first I thought I'd uncovered a clump of fleece or a dead rat, but no--it was sheep testicles.)

Does this explain his sudden tolerance of Tyr and his friendliness toward me--the loss of his ramhood?

You might ask why one would choose to wether a nice ram (or neuter a llama, as we did Llannie, for instance). Well, for all us fiber-crazy folks, I'll just say that males who aren't expending all their energy making testosterone and chasing the girls of their species generally produce nicer fiber for more years than in-tact males. 'Nuff said?

4. The cat that has my back...

...because Chris requested a closer look.

5. Other things that fascinate me: (a) bats. I recently read that they fly far better than birds.

5.(b) Not that I don't still love my birds, mind you. (And some of the hens can fly pretty well for, you know, big chickens.)

5.(c) I didn't grow up Catholic, but (especially after travelling in France and Italy) I must say those Catholics really have the corner on amazing imagery. And all the ritual and ceremony and lovely fragrant things...mmm.


Chris said...

Thanks for the tattoo closeup - it's very cool.

Ack, flashback to growing up on the farm (the whole de-ramming business).

Must have more caffeine. Now.

Mouse said...

I love your tattoo..
Does that mean that Thorn ACTUALLY froze his balls off? hee hee hee !!!
(ps. my verification word today is "lomykdomy" and it really amused me to have a rhyming nonsense word)

sienna said...

Wow! Fleecy sheep testicles...Definitely *not* something I expected to read about today. :)

Carrie K said...

Being without coffee is DefCon One. I think it's in the manual.

I love that random blog title thingie! I am so using it from now on.

Cats, cute. Sheep testicles? Not as much but cute story!

Brenda said...

I had no idea that was how a ram was neutered. Sounds much tidier than surgery, and it doesn't sound like Thorn minds.

I came to coffee drinking late (two years ago at age 41), but now I refer to my morning cup as "Queen Java," and my husband knows that skipping QJ is not an option.

Obsidian Kitten said...

I think maybe he DID freeze his balls off! rotfl
It's only supposed to take 2-3 wks for them to fall off--but it took *two months* in this cold...so go figure.

I think we should come up with a meaning for "lomykdomy"--like when someone has reached their lifetime quota of saying stupid things at a really early age and they get the equivalent of a self-inflicted lobotomy, then we'd call it a "lomykdomy."

sunneshine said...

Love the tatoo - it is entracing. Could do a lot of commenting on the Catholic stuff, but have to agree that the images (and the kitch) is very beautiful!!

Puss-in-Boots said...

Hi O'K. What a great post! Yep, it sure sounds like you're an optomist! I can really, really relate to the coffee situation. Yesterday I bought some more, even though I've probably got enough for a fortnight. I just couldn't bear the thought of eventually running out.

Loved the story of the sheep's testicles! Good painless way of neutering and of course, he will be a much nicer boy from now on. No more testerone fuelled tantrums!

msfortuknit said...

Ok Seriously!
Your cat just fucked my shit up!

Tink said...

Coffee... Liquid motivator and stabilizer. I don't know what I would do without the stuff. The tattoo is awesome. I'm not very big into body art (although I used to design the stuff for side work). But if I were to get something done, it would something like that. Cat's meow.

Gattina said...

I love the on and off button of the cats ! and I wonder if men also produce more fur than a ram in this special case ? I always heard they loose it. And what about the voice, is he blatting like the Callas now ??

word verification here today :

Laramide said...

They use the same wide rubber bands to dock lambs' tails as they use for neutering. A friend found a small lamb beside his dead mother after a herd of sheep came through her area out east of Lancaster; she took it in, bottle fed it, and eventually applied both bands.

I don't know what became of his balls, but I did hear about his tail's fate. One of her kittens was playing with the lamb's tale and got her claws wound into the wool. When the lamb decided fun was fun, but the kitten was keeping him awake, and moved away from the kitten, he left his tail behind. My friend said that she had never seen any animal look as surprised and shocked as that kitten did.

We have pallid bats in the Low Desert, down in the Coachella Valley. They're definitely not your every-day (or is it every-night?) bat.

Mary the Digital Knitter

Mary the Digital Knitter said...

Oops-laramide orogeny is the name I use on Usenet. In blog-land I'm Mary the Digital Knitter, at The Digital Knitter.

RheLynn said...

Oh there was wincing and terrified looks aplenty in this household reading about poor Thorn and his 'process.' I love 'You worry about these kinds of things on a farm' *hehe* yes, that is certainly true! Glad to hear he is calming down a bit now.

I love that picture of Morgan going 'ballistic' (pardon the pun *heh* it was required) - DefCon One Coffee Emergencies happen here often too!