If You're Wondering Where I've Been, or...

Llamas Will Be Llamas

So my parents are away in Pennsylvania this week, leaving me with farm and garden and animal care. Of course it can't rain a drop, meaning lots of watering, the truck broke down today, leaving us without a vehicle (and me with no way to get to the Michigan FiberFest this weekend! augghh!), and then there are those little surprises that come with being an aspiring farmess that keeps life, well, exciting, to say the least.

To preface, let me say that we took our 1988 Bronco for a complete oil change and tune-up earlier this week. (Nothing like messing with an old vehicle to make it break down completely, which is what it did today, requiring a 20-mile tow back to town.) But back to the story...when I got home from the garage, I saw a light brown female llama in the pasture where there should only be two male llamas. And, of course, there is a reason to keep boys and girls apart. (Need I state the obvious? Here I add that Llannie has been neutured, but Graty is, um, intact.)

Yes, Lacey, our young, first-time pregnant llama (due to deliver in October) had found her way through the new fence into the BOYS' pasture. Miss "The-Grass-is-Always-Greener" was parading around on their side of the fence like she owned the place, while Graty, kushed in the barn door, ogled her with pathetic longing and Llannie paced around behind him, completely aggravated.

I got her halter and, as I was trying to drag an old (and extraordinarily heavy) barn gate out of the weeds to cover the weak spot in the fence, Miss Lacey decided to take a little stroll into the barn.

Well, of course that was all the opportunity Graty needed, and suddenly all hell broke loose--she was clucking and spitting and spewing like a creature out of Alien, Graty was covered in green bile but atop Lacey nonetheless, and Llannie was screaming his disgust at both of them.

She hit me SQUARE in the face and chest with llama spit (yes, it smells, very bad) as I ran up with her halter and, of course, was then only too glad to have Graty dragged off of her and to run angrily back into her own pasture. She then continued tutting and clucking at me for the half hour it took me to get her back into the barn to take her halter off, since I was now somehow part of the evil violation she had just undergone.

Then Graty hummed for her to come back SO pathetically (Mr. O'K chided me for "ruining Graty's first time") while pacing back and forth but failing, of course, to elicit any sympathy whatsoever from Llannie. (Or from Lacey, but that goes without saying.)

When the boys finally settled down and went back to their grazing, Miss Grass-is-Greener (still trailing her lead) strolled right up to Graty at the fence, and, heaping insult upon injury, clucked at him a few more times! I kept telling her there was a *reason* she was supposed to stay on her side of the fence...boys on one side, girls on the other...

I know you really wish I had photos of this event, but, for obvious reasons, alas, there are none. Some soon, really--of happier moments. Maybe if it rains...