Gandalf and Strider Commence a New Quest
Quit Day 4 (again)
So after a week (yes, yay, a week!) of not smoking, I had two cigarettes on Wednesday, Which became three on Thursday and three on Friday. Aughh!
Granted, I had PMS and during the week had slid into a horrible depression (remember, I'm bipolar)--the worst I've experienced in many months, complete with lovely suicidal ideas, homicidal fantasies, and rifled with awful anxiety and an irritability that I can only describe as PMS on steroids.
Fortunately, I had an appointment with the psychiatrist, who increased my anti-depressant to compensate for what he called "dopamine depletion." So far I'm a little better, and haven't killed myself or anyone else yet.
Very soon I'll have pictures of my no-smoking socks, a hat I knit from the Lacey yarn I spun, plus other spinning I've been doing while not smoking. Busy, busy bee--or so I must stay until I feel like something of a normal human being again, while minimizing contact with others, since I'm something of a raging bundle of raw nerves.
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9 comments:
Hug. I wouldn't have been able to give those two up. I wondered if you were ok - I'd love to send you a little package from the UK as a thankyou so please send me your address.
So very cute kittens and wow your girls are taking it quite well indeed! Keeping busy sounds like the best thing, that and lots of kitty stroking :)
Goodbye, Gandalf and Strider. Hope you find a good forever home.
You're so sweet to take care of those babies till they got healthy again.
I would take Strider in a heartbeat, if I weren't saddled with my own never-still kitten.
Hang in there; you will beat the cigarettes. Like I said, think of the money!!!
they were gorgeous, thanks to you. you did a wonderful job and they will find a forever home easily now. i hope it is going better for you now too.
While I love what you did for those beautiful little cats - really I am hear to send you love and good energy towards quitting! I know that you are stronger then you think you are - it will happen!! Take good care of yourself and mr.o'kitten!!
Hi O'Kitten,glad to see your post. Hey, you've just had a minor set back...don't beat yourself up over it. Quitting is bad enough without PMS to go with it!
My brother has bipolar...but I can't see him even thinking about giving up...poor thing. He loves his ciggies and coffee and I think that's what he exists on.
Anyway, I think you've done well. It's very rare for anyone to give up on the first go, so you're not alone in that...it took me years. I'd give up, start, give up, start again, until I finally got fed up with the addiction ruling my life and quit for good.
You'll get to that stage, too. In the meantime, be kind to yourself and email me any time...ok?
Hugs xoxo
I had to laugh out loud at the blurry pictures of Strider. Those just say so much about his personality!
I had to catch up news on your blog ! I have been one week in Italy and the internet connection was so bad. I thought you haven't participated on COT last week, because you forgot to put a link in my blog.
So you decided to give the two away and now they found another nice home. That's good news ! They will certainly be more happy then as barn cats.
I know what you are talking about when you write about your depression. I had that for many years and always in automn. For me it's the most awful desease because you don't know why it happens to you and you look so normal. With a broken leg everybody knows what you have but depressions ? and then the clever people who say "pull yourself together" or "you have such a nice life" etc. I just could kill them. I only hope that the new pills will help you. Good luck !
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